I can tell that I have a crush on someone, because I suddenly find myself wanting to write them a letter. Not a love letter or anything, just some sort of rambling narration of my mental processes...

So I've got a couple of crushes going right now.

The other thing is: this weekend I was talking to J and she asked if I miss my friends. I said I've never missed anyone a day in my life, which at the time seemed to be true. But, now that I think about it, it's not

I miss E right now. It's silly and I wish I didn't feel this way, but I do. It's a long-term thing, too. I think what I miss is the potential more than anything else. I mean, we finally got together three days before I moved away; since then we've spent a few days here and there, but it's always an Outing, a Trek.

I want to spend time with him, casually. Like, just hanging out doing nothing. I want to get to know what he's like on a normal day, when he's not particularly happy to see me, not tired from too much sex, not drunk-n-high.

That's not going to happen any time soon, though. We won't be living in the same town again for months, probably not until next year. Hopefully he'll come out and visit me in the desert on weekends, but still...

It's a challenge, you know?
But things are rarely perfect