23:15 from the under-tablecloth point of view:
I worry about my mother, sitting there with her arm around that guy with the bad smile and the watery eyes. I think of her at my age, married to the wrong man and with my little brother already on the way while I grabfisted at her curls -
when did her smile stop being a happy smile and change into a plea for help? And what is this guy going to do for it.
Now don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy, have rarely wanted something as much. But it scares me, after a string of guys that were sore sore losers, the first guy that isn't half bad
she is sighing all day long and forgetting where things are
talking about him endlessly and saying everything but the words "I love him" -
At my age she was a baby with babies; at my age she threw the romance out the window to keep her hands free for diapers and an inattentive husband; at my age she stopped learning about the outside world, and hid inside a dream house full of skeletons.
Who is this person that she is letting in? Does she know what to do with him? Does she really love him after three weeks, or is he just the first guy in twenty years that has paid her any attention?
...so I worry.
At least he seems nice.
when did her smile stop being a happy smile and change into a plea for help? And what is this guy going to do for it.
Now don't get me wrong, I want her to be happy, have rarely wanted something as much. But it scares me, after a string of guys that were sore sore losers, the first guy that isn't half bad
she is sighing all day long and forgetting where things are
talking about him endlessly and saying everything but the words "I love him" -
At my age she was a baby with babies; at my age she threw the romance out the window to keep her hands free for diapers and an inattentive husband; at my age she stopped learning about the outside world, and hid inside a dream house full of skeletons.
Who is this person that she is letting in? Does she know what to do with him? Does she really love him after three weeks, or is he just the first guy in twenty years that has paid her any attention?
...so I worry.
At least he seems nice.
4 Comments:
At 6:42 PM,
Radiohumper said…
Goddammit this is the second thing you've written that made me cry at work today. They think I'm crazy enough already.
Whatever happened to your mother wasn't your fault. That sounds so lame, doesn't it? Your choices and your urges and your environment are so much different than hers, and her life is not improved by you feeling bad over her past.
Thank you for reminding me what a lucky, lucky woman I am. I have an irritable husband who I adore and a rotten ungrateful son to indulge and an imaginary lover I have to go spat with now.
x o x
At 10:29 AM,
ogma said…
Easy for you to say. I am the only person looking out for her.
At 11:09 AM,
papamamba said…
i hope when i'm her age i can still learn from my mistakes.
At 9:56 PM,
Herself said…
seems are what keeps the fabrics together...
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